Purpose

By Dot Schucker,

My trip here in Uganda is quickly coming to an end. I can't believe that I have been here for almost 20 days. The things that I have seen on this trip can not be described in words. I have seen the best and the worst of this country in these few weeks. I can empathize with children who fear the dark and wait for the light to shine. I have personally seen those children. I have seen them at every stage. When they are fearful, they hide and won't come to your calling for fear of being hurt. When the light has finally reached their life, they smile the most beautiful smiles and hold your hand with such great passion. In this post, I will not be able to describe the full extent of what has happened here in this country. I will not be able to describe how much my heart felt like it was being ripped out of my chest. The only thing that I can do now is to just try to reach out to others so that they can feel at least a portion of what I feel. If I can accomplish that, I know that this country will be helped in such great ways.

The first ten days were spent in Gulu. Gulu is everything I expected it to be and nothing I could have prepared for. Their needs are so great. They need electricity for the deaf so that they can communicate. They need lights to prevent any more abuse to their children. They need school supplies to learn, more food to support their bodies, mattresses to sleep on, and genuine love from people who want to help them. They have none of that. I have described it to some as a direct example of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. At the bottom of this pyramid consists of needs of food, water, and shelter. Without these, a human can not reach other levels such as love and feeling belonged. These children don't even have the bottom level. They can't trust and love others when they are more concerned of their safety and surviving the world. These children have seen atrocities that I can not even begin to imagine. There were often days were I felt hopeless, and I wasn't even in the situations. However, there were always opportunities where I saw the progress. I saw a smile, a hug, an appreciative nod, or even just a child getting a little closer. My final few days at Gulu were some of the brightest. A young boy that had broken his leg at the tournament had personally sought me out and I took him to a clinic to get it looked at. After a day of me feeling utter hopelessness, the boy took my hand and laid his head on my shoulder. In this tiny move of affection, my heart was broke open, the dark chased away, and hope crept into the place where hopelessness had once been. Next stop: Kampala.

Some of my favorite boys are located in Kampala. I often think about these boys when I'm home. Abdul is one of those boys who will always hold a large piece of my heart. He is so smart and inquisitive. I love the pursuit of knowledge, and I do not find it a coincidence that this boy was placed in my life. I had learned on this trip that he had a heart condition and could not do many activities. As a nursing student, I started to see a pattern in these events over this trip, and I decided to react.

Tournament day is always a fun, interactive day for the players and the fans. The excitement they have for their teams reminds many that these are just children. You would be surprised how easy it is to forget that these mature, small beings are actually children! The day after the tournament was highly ironic in that our whole team faced a very dark day. We took three boys, who had gotten a scholarship to go to Wakiso to learn and play soccer, back to their village to visit their families. The atrocities I saw there still haunts me. The family of two of the boys held their children to no importance. They did not care. They found it more interesting that white people were even there and paid no attention that the children they had not seen in six months were back home. These children shuddered from their parents touch and kept a distance from them at all times. The whole team ended this whole interaction in tears or in anger. We were eager to get the boys back in the van and drive off. While this situation felt hopeless, it was not unlike the situation I had encountered 9 days before that. In the darkest of dark, there is a beacon of hope. We took these children to go eat. This restaurant had a trampoline and these boys played on this trampoline for a solid 30 minutes. They were laughing and joking, and their laughter and smiles quickly spread throughout the whole team. They had ice cream before dinner and one of the sweet boys ate his weight in food. Hope had, again, reached into that dark place in my heart.

I truly believe everyone has a specific purpose in life. Whatever that purpose may be, it should be carried out with all your heart. This trip has reminded me of my purpose: to help others. The only time I feel most at peace with the world is when I can see that hope rising in others that I have touched. I am called to action, and I will refuse to ignore it. As I venture back into America, I must remind myself to stay focused and passionate. I cannot let this world turn me bitter or blind, but I must use the pain and heartache to drive me further along my path. I hope that this hope will spread not just to my beautiful Ugandans but to Americans, as well